dezlet:

wait

where did these feels come from

i didn’t want these

i didn’t intend this

WHAT IS HAPPENING

pacothesage:

So, everyone thinking of voting Republican this year realizes that the reason most of the candidates are mad about “Obamacare” is because it means they can’t deny poor women access to birth control anymore, right?

But it’s not like this is a new development.

Off the top of my head, here is a nice list of things that modern era Republicans are interested in eliminating or controlling in relation to my bedroom time:

Abortion
Ok.. I can sort of understand this one, you’re a “black and white” sort of person that can’t see that there are exceptions to every rule, and you think that a sometimes necessary medical procedure should be illegal because you love babies so damn much. It’s ok to kill everyone else, just not babies. Because you’re religious. Ok.

Birth Control
So you’ve got someone that’s on your side, that thinks abortion is wrong, and wants to have sex (Can we please just admit that everyone wants to have sex, please?) but doesn’t want to kill babies. So that’s cool, right? Problem solved. And now thanks to the hated Obamacare, everyone, for the first time in America has equal access to birth control! This will hopefully lead to less abortions and that, surprisingly enough makes both Democrats and Republicans happy! That’s an issue that can cross party lines. Oh wait, you’re against Birth Control too?

Oh because it’s not natural?

What about sugar, and flour, and Viagra, and chemotherapy, and oil powered vehicles and spaceships and tanks and guns and moon bases? Are you against those unnatural things as well? No? Oh.. I see… Then SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Sex Education
Ok.. So I get it, you think that sex is for making babies, and that’s it. And you think that everyone on the planet should make responsible decisions about their own bodies. Well, at least the half with boobs. We’ll ignore for a second that things like rape exist, and just assume all sex is consensual, and that men wouldn’t ever want to have sex anyways if it wasn’t for women whoring it up all over the place.  So you want everyone to make responsible educated decisions about their sex lives instead of resorting to an abortion. So you must be in favor of educating people BEFORE they become sexually active, about the possible risks of that act that they clearly have no natural desire for, and the ways that they can work to prevent diseases and accidental pregnancies in the first place. Right? Oh, you’re against that too?

Welfare
So you must just really like babies then. You just want to see happy, healthy babies everywhere! Moms staying at home, a little baby attached to each breast, toddlers running around, houses full of happy and healthy babies. So you must be in favor of helping poor single moms provide for these children, right? Babies are the most important thing to you, and I know this because it’s the ONLY issue you vote upon. You must think it’s a pretty good idea to take just a little bit of money, and give it to those people that really need it in order to take care of their babies. Right??!! No?

Pornography
I’m on board you crazy bastards. I think babies are the most delightful things in the world, but poor and poorly uneducated mothers are the worst. I want people having tons of babies and I don’t want anyone hurting them, but I’m not willing to pay any money to make sure that they grow up healthy, or educated enough to make responsible decisions about their own bodies in the future.

Now I’m a teenage person, that SOMEHOW managed to learn that sex can very likely lead to babies. But I know I can’t afford a baby, I don’t want any help from the Government, don’t want to use birth control, and don’t want to have a baby yet. But being a teenager, I have all these urges and desires that are completely natural, they make it hard to focus in school, because all around me there are beautiful people going through all these same urges.

I know! I’ll find a way on the internet to satisfy those urges! I’ll do so in a way that doesn’t require birth control, has no chance of resulting in a pregnancy, and doesn’t pose a taxpayer burden. I’ll also get some education about this crazy complicated thing from the only resource that I’m likely to get any education from now, because you’re against that sort of thing. We’ll ignore that it creates false images of sex and objectifies women for now, because based on your previous track record, I know you’re in favor of objectifying and controlling women. It won’t cost you a penny, in fact, it’s a private enterprise. It even provides an entire industry with jobs! Terrible degrading jobs! You must be in favor of that! No?

Do you just hate people? Is that it?
You don’t want them having abortions, you don’t want them preventing abortions, you don’t want to help them take care of their babies, you don’t want to educate them in how to avoid having babies, you say you want things to be natural, but you ignore the completely natural overwhelming urges that accompany the hormonal changes of puberty, and are against any and all ways of satiating those urges that don’t involve making a baby, but you don’t want kids having babies. Ok. I see. And everyone running for President in your party thinks this way? Well, at least you’re making ONE decision easy.

Obama 2012.